Paula Rahn

The biggest obstacle you face is—meh. 

Meh does not win customers’ dollars. It’s like a grilled cheese with only one piece of cheese—meh.

If you want to grab your customers’ attention, increase conversion and earn more money, you need:

• An impeccable SEO strategy that’s effective, not gross
• A creative, high quality email campaign that customers look forward to opening
• Witty and unique product descriptions that get customers to smile, laugh and actually buy
• 4 to 6 pieces of melted cheese

The moments in a person’s day when they laugh or cry are the ones that stand out most—I suggest going for laughter. I mean, I can make them cry but it’ll get ugly up in here.

There’s a science to laughter, so essentially I’m a scientist, like a legit rocket scientist.

Pentameter, word placement and timing will flood your customers brains with endorphins making them more apt to check out, come back and talk about your brand with others. Maybe I’m a brain surgeon…

Entertaining and funny content will get your customers attached to your brand and have them drooling over your every post, email and product. Like pavlov’s dogs—you just gotta ring that bell. I’ll ring your bell.